Outside My Comfort Zone
The sun has finally returned to the garden patio at the Lodge—the name Kit and I have given to the Golden Empire Nursing & Rehabilitation Center where he is now resident. After a spring that arrived with snow, hail, grapple, and rain, the two of us are at last able sit outdoors and bath in the sun. With our heads tilted back, we are for the moment at peace as we watch white clouds skip about between patches of blue sky. These days when every challenge we face is outside our comfort zone, the touch of warm sun on our faces makes the journey we are on a little easier.
Out of the blue, Kit asks me to tell him about adventures I remember that were challenging and at times uncomfortable. I began with a tale from our garden in Missouri when I fought a battle with hoses. While moving rotating sprinklers around the yard, I was hit more than once by rotating wands of water. I could have avoided this dousing by walking to the house, shutting off the faucet, walking back to the end of the impossibly long hose, moving the sprinkler head to another location, and then repeating my trek to the faucet on the side of the house and turning the knob up full blast.
Instead, I judged the time it took for the sprinkler to complete its back-and-forth cycle, ran to the end of the hose, nabbed the rotating sprinkler head, and dashed to the next area of the garden that needed a refreshing soak. In the process, I got a bit of refreshing myself and kept Fanny—one of our three cats—quite amused.
“I miss our cats,” Kit says. “I do, too, I sigh, “but someday one will find its way to our home in the Sierra Foothills. That is what happened during the 32 years we lived in Missouri and had a barn. Neighbors and friends are certain that a cat is exactly what I need right now. But with life upside down and each day one step forward without knowing what lies ahead, I’ve not made a move to find a rescue kitten or cat that needs a home. One of the wonderful members of the “Lodge” staff loves cats and calls us “KitKat” after the candy bar with the same name. “Maybe it’s time,” I say to myself when I come home each night and settle in alone for what remains of the evening. Cuddling with a cat would be such a comfort.
This week, I had Kit wheel his chair down the hall and into a small dining and lounge area near the nurse’s station. We have begun to join other residents who take their meals at one of the room’s three round tables and somedays conversations ensue. Strangers have names now. Bob who sits in the hall at mealtime is 103 years old. “I’ll be 104 in May,” he tells me. “Bob,” I say to this man born in 1919, “that is when my mother Alice was born.” He has a dapper moustache, wears a watch with a brown leather band, dresses in plaid lounge pants and wears Merrell shoes. “You and Kit have a lot in common when it comes to your wardrobes,” I tell him as he leans forward in hopes of hearing what I am saying.
Between mealtimes, the lounge can be set up for group activities. Last week, residents including Kit and his 91-year-old roommate Larry painted Easter eggs that are now hanging from a tall artificial tree in the lounge next to a small fireplace. Above the fireplace mantle, there is a large-screened TV monitor where movies can be shown. Because it is now staying light later, we’ve started watching episodes of Kit’s favorite TV series, Friday Night Lights. Its familiar characters and their dramas connect him to home and what once was our reality. Every night is a movie date night when I dim the lights in the lounge and I cozy up in a chair next to him.
Scrolling through movie options on the remote recently, I found The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel. The film follows a group of aging British pensioners on an adventure that lands them about as far from their comfort zones as they could have imagined. Arriving in Jaipur, they’re assaulted by heat, noise, dust, density, and colors that dazzle the imagination. India was to test each of the characters in the cast with what at first seemed to be insurmountable challenges. As they each struggled to settle in, the pensioner must decide the direction his or her journey will now take.
Later that evening when I’m back home near the warmth of our fireplace, I reflect on the challenges and possibilities Kit and I are now facing. Shall we fly off to India and check into the best exotic Marigold Hotel? Will there be another trip to Paris or London in our future? Mai oui! Or Mai non? Uncertain of the answer, I remind myself that life challenges us to venture beyond our familiar comfort zone. And I recall the credits following The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel.
“At any age, life can be an adventure. Go for it and take part.”